boy it's hard to figure out what to blog about these days. admittedly, i am sucked into instagram because it is sooo easy. forget the written word and all the time it takes to jot a post and photoshop pics, here's my cute kids! here is a snapshot with a small caption, and voila, end of story, i can connect with rad people and instagram is an insta-success for a non-socialmedia-mama! but then, there is always a story within every single day. truthfully i wonder how not to blog about my boys. family life, motherhood, daily tasks and life with littles is the main thing i have going. i know i am likely saying the same things again and again, but that's what a lot of motherhood is about. it is hard to think up a subject without thinking of what these boys have taught me recently.
i have a few ongoing design projects, but most of them and are kept hidden until the client wants to debut them.. so anyway my main life is my daily world with my kids (on repeat). in house, outdoors, taking drives, creating outings, making memories and hopefully raising them into kind loving people. so grateful to have a hands-on husband to help me along this parenthood route. i try to remember what benji says and jot his hilarious statements down in my favorite little quote book of his. four is all about growing, learning new things, testing limits and being sweeter than pie. he prays often and has such a sincere relationship with God. it's no wonder he teaches me so much. i really feel that children are here to give us new eyes and gain new insights if not a completely new perspective. i've been known to say that two kids has flipped my world upside down. in the best way possible, of course.
today i stopped and looked at them with new eyes. this happens almost once a day. they teach me so much. seth is learning to crawl. more specifically he is perfecting the plank position. it's really amazing to watch. he gets on his hands and knees, in a classic crawl and then switches to plank and drops to scoot himself around on his belly in an army crawl. i marvel that he has to learn the hard way. he has to drag himself through the motions until he learns the easier way through. isn't that how life is?! isn't that the way we learn from our mistakes? we learn the hard way and with practice, we get better and better and suddenly we realize all that dragging through life's challenges was only strengthening us. and, although benji is trying hard to teach seth how to crawl properly, no one can do it for him. seth has to learn on his own. so very true with life. we must learn and grow and figure out problems and develop our talents by ourselves. we have to go through the process to better ourselves. this is the golden part of life. even though it's so tough to watch. aren't your most valuable moments in life after coming through a trial?! isn't coping with difficulties the method of sculpting stronger souls; molding us into who we are?! as a mother i want to hurry his progress and help him crawl because i know it will be a lot less frustrating for him; but i know better. i know this is one of many hurdles he has to conquer on his own. so we clap and praise and holler and hug. we do all we can to help him help himself. a lesson i will surely be learning again and again as a mama.
benji has taken on the roll of big brother with great courage. he is such a good helper and is so very patient with our latest addition. he always creates stories about two brothers whenever he is imagining up a new tale. he is confident and happy and quick to forgive. i am so grateful he loves to be obedient. always trying to do what's right. seth loves him so much, what a joy it is to have a brother. however i know it must be hard to be four and learn about the bigness of life; the rules of right and wrong and figuring out how to be brave and honest and good and thankful and polite and know when and where ninja moves are appropriate. controlling our tempers and eating our vegetables and becoming an understanding and empathetic individual takes practice. practice is easier to come by with a little brother scooting around getting into our things. although i've tried with all my heart not to place too much older brother pressure on him, i know he must feel it. his life has changed in such a big way. he shares his mom and dad now. thankfully children are so wholesome and good, he wouldn't ever think to keep us only for himself. the only way children know how to love, is completely and wholly. i praise him and hug him and thank him for all he does. i do what i can to say you're awesome to go through this huge transition with a smile.
tonight my favorite thing happened. benji, all on his own, sang his baby brother to sleep. i waited in the darkened hallway–nearing their door, about to come to the rescue–when i heard him kindly solving the problem with a song. i stood motionless, not daring to move or creak the floorboards beneath my feet. i melted into a puddle as benji's primary song, i like to look for rainbows, calmed seth down immediately. and then they both fell back asleep in their room. i wanted to burst in and hug them both and tell them thank you for being such good boys. but i knew i would ruin the moment (and wake them both up)! another moment for me as a mama to stay by the sidelines and cheer. i silently thanked God for my many blessings and all the lessons i'm learning day by day.
benji loves baking with mama | seth perfects his plank in our hotel room
become as little children | inspiration: here, here and here.